I do not deserve the swift, easy dying
I should go out suffering, cursing, weeping
No gentle slip into long, peaceful sleeping
I deserve harshness, for there is no denying
I’ve done terrible things, things all too horrid
Covetous, vengeful, hateful, and torrid
I’d get no comforts from friends or family
A slow, painful demise; lots of time to think
It’s too good for me, the “gone in a blink”
For my legacy is ugly, a shameful homily
A sad sack of blood and bones; all gone bad
A sour brain on a stick, and a soul, quite mad
I got in a little goodness, here and there
But these brief occasions, they came and went
In truth, half of them were by accident
I failed to be of use, and even less, to care
And, squeezing in the rare, unselfish act
Does not grant one release from a devil’s pact
Less honorable by the day, I should’ve quit
And yet, I’ve persisted, doing more and more
With sins innumerable; I cannot keep score
And yet, upon pondering, I must admit
As bad as I am, I can’t conceive; it’s true
What would be a fair and just fate for you
While I do not go in for all that silly stuff
Political yarns of heaven, hell, and purgatory
The guilt-tripping duress of bedtime story
Absolutes, ethics, and morals… all but a bluff
Inventions for feeling better about ourselves
But our deeds will not go back on the shelves
We could keep debating until all cows return
Where, who, or what made our foul kingdom
Whether it’s intelligent, impelled, or random
Bickering fictions; eternal bliss, or to burn
Regardless, one point is impossible to miss
And, try as we might, there’s no escaping this
Wherever we go, from wherever we came
We’re here while we’re here; as all the others
Failure is in failing our sisters and brothers
Allowing them to suffer, passing the blame
Holier-than-thou, and treating them as less;
The only real sin we’d ever need to confess
Fail or succeed, by any standard you choose
Any yardstick or metric of money or power
Cruelty and apathy are a waste of the hour
A precious moment, we soon enough lose
I should die kicking and screaming, it’s true
If I’m honest about things that I failed to do
A thousand missed kindnesses; this, I know
Things I could’ve done to ease pain or fear
Looking out for myself, covering my rear
I know what I deserve, and how I should go
I can’t say for certain if you’re bad or good
If you lift up others, or do as you should
Most of us will admit, once, we were wrong
Careful to leave out the details of those cases
The omission shows guilt, egg on our faces
We try to appear sweet, covering our tracks
But, I know what I’ve done, I cannot get away
From knowledge of things I did do, and say
Slander, both overt and behind people’s backs
All the times I chose, the other way to look
The times I was a liar, a scoundrel, a crook
Criminally negligent, someone should stop us
More awful by the hour, delusion and fantasy
Thinking self noble, in all of self’s infancy
I should suffer, if there’s a god, or any justice
I’ve got it coming; the blade shouldn’t swerve
But, I’ve still no idea about what you deserve
©2022 Kevin Trent Boswell
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Coming Soon
A new album from Trent Boswell, Area 25
Cover art by the elusive Mr. Dorian Strange.
Area 25 – a witch’s brew; 12 original pieces of rock and roll, hard rock, and funk. It’s a psychedelic concoction of madness, lifted from the purse of Venus, pilfered from the wallet of Apollo, and heisted from Jupiter’s garage.
It will be available on all the major streaming services, like Apple Music, Deezer, Amazon Music, Spotify, YouTube Music, and many more.
Kevin Trent Boswell 